


Empty Nest

by kuonji



Series: Never Too Late [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman Beyond, DCU, DCU (Animated)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I'm writing this as I sit beside you, Alfred, and I don't know what to say. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Nest

_I'm writing this as I sit beside you, Alfred, and I don't know what to say. All the things that I could say to you have already been said. All the things that I can't speak will remain that way. They tell me you can't feel pain anymore. I've been wondering lately if it might have been bett_

_God, I don't know what I'm saying._

_Don't leave me, Alfred. I don't know who I'm going to be without you._

***

_Why can't they leave me alone? I've said a dozen times that's not where I belong anyway. I was only ever on reserve. I don't even have superpowers. I'm not immortal or invulnerable. I don't have the optimism for the job. Some days, I barely have a handle on Gotham. Who in his right mind would trust me to look after the entire planet?_

_Let the younger members do their part. They've earned the responsibility, for good or bad. Leave me out of it. I don't train heroes. I train soldiers. And soldiers get hurt in this war we're waging. Or has everyone forgotten?_

_If he comes again today, I'm going to make it clear: Thanks, but no thanks._

***

_I dreamed about them again, Alfred._

_They said they were disappointed in me._

***

_The weather was beautiful today, Alfred. The clouds were sprinkled across a blue sky full of sun. It was a west wind, so you could barely smell the garbage from the bay. You would never have believed Gotham could look this way. I feel like it hasn't since I was a child._

_I'm glad. She deserved a perfect wedding day._

***

_He wasn't fast enough. He wasn't ready when I made the call to move. After all his training, it shouldn't have happened. He should have compensated for my mistake. That's what he's supposed to do -- make up for my lack._

_It was my fault. There, I admit it. It's my penance to sit here watching him breathe on a grainy screen because I'm too much of a coward to actually_

_This was never_

_How will_

_Please, God, don't let him die._

_I'm sorry._

***

_It's a girl. A beautiful, perfect girl._

_He looked so happy in the videos. I almost wish I'd been there._

_I didn't think it was possible for him to be happy anymore. I didn't think I'd ever see him laugh again. I was afraid it would be frightening to hear it, that it would stir up too many memories. But it wasn't at all._

_Am I allowed to lay down a little of my burden of guilt now, Alfred? Or is that impossible?_

***

_I thought it would hurt more, but I'm just numb._

_My father was the same age. If he had lived, I would have had him for all this time -- only to lose him now. Is that the real moral of the story?_

_It makes me think about my own mortality. The new suit will be ready soon, but what difference does it really make anymore? I'm always going to need a new suit. Another one, and another one, until no amount of enhancements will be able to turn time back for me._

***

_She doesn't understand, Alfred. How did she forget so quickly?_

_In a city like Gotham, darkness is a live, self-resurrecting beast. The police force alone will never be enough. The City needs a Batman. I won't abandon Her, even if everyone else has._

***

_I almost did the unthinkable tonight. I don't deserve to wear the suit anymore. The Cave's closed for good, Alfred. I suppose you would approve._

***

_And that's another one. I guess I'll have to put up another ad tomorrow morning. Raise the salary, I bet._

_I guess you would be making jokes, wouldn't you? About how impossible it is to put up with me. About how you're the only one who could ever possibly do it?_

_If only you were here, old friend. I'm selfish enough to wish you were._

***

_That's it, then. It's not my problem anymore. Derek can do some good with it. Even if it's just making a fortune to make himself happy. I'm not._

_Do you think maybe Mom and Dad would have liked it better this way?_

_I don't know what I'm saying. An old man sniveling about his parents. It doesn't matter._

_I'm done._

***

_Looks like I can't join you just yet, Alfred._

_Didn't you always want me to get a pet? Well, now I have. Not the conventional way, of course. You know me._

_I'm going to have to figure out where to get good quality dog food now. Not that rotten stuff I've seen before, half corn and half preservatives. On the other hand, I can't keep feeding him steak. I won't be able to do anything if there are leftovers. My teeth can't handle it anymore._

***

_They don't have the first idea. How could they? A bunch of jokers, indeed. Nothing but thugs and bullies. I suppose I should be glad that I care as little as I do._

_But damn it all, I do still care a little. I'm even beginning to think, lately, that I might still be able to do a little good for_

_Who am I kidding? A stupid, raving old man._

_I feel old. I miss you._

_Is that the first time I've written that? My God, I think it is._

***

***

Alone but for a large black Great Dane lying at his feet, The Batman sat silent in the dark, brooding.

Oh, he knew he didn't deserve the moniker anymore nowadays. He wasn't off his rocker -- yet. He knew he was only a shell of what-once-was. But he wasn't Bruce Wayne. That was for sure. No room for that fellow in this dusty old cave anymore.

The years had not been kind to him or to the Manor. The day the Mission had ended, both their reasons for existing had ceased. Soon, he would have to admit his failure.

He had given his all to his city -- his wealth, his influence, his company, his legacy, his _life --_ and what had he gained for his sacrifices?

Crime and corruption were just as bad as ever, or rising, even, in recent years. New 'freaks' showed up every other week, it seemed, while run-of-the-mill organized crime competed with corporate wrong-doings for air time on the broadcasts. Barbara did her best, but she was blinded by her stubbornness, unnecessary hurt feelings getting in the way of reason. Of all the people who should know better!

He was a bitter old man now, condemned by the very people who had once followed his lead and supported his cause. His... not his family. No. He hadn't had a family since he was eight years old. But he'd thought they were... something.

Well, he would be released from all these troubles soon enough -- gone into the grand oblivion. He would never have to look at this filth again.

The proximity alerts went off, indicating someone coming up the steep slope to Wayne Manor. He thought about ignoring it. The automatic security could handle it. Even if it didn't, what more could they do to him, anyway?

A moment of peevish stubbornness pushed him to his feet, though. He wasn't quite on his last legs yet. Steadying himself with his cane, he stumped his way toward the door. Angus, who had leapt to his feet at his first movement to rise, followed alongside.

He would just go look. Shake his cane at the hooligans on his front lawn. Anyone who once knew him would appreciate the joke.

As he made his way down the path to the gates, he heard cycles buzzing toward him...

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:  
> [The Little Things](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/19657.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji  
> [Someday](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1558646) (Hikaru no Go), by kuonji  
> [Who Needs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2776820) (Batman Beyond), by karanguni


End file.
